How Do You Stop Caring About Things That Don’t Matter?

Inspired By  Mark Manson
28 mins

Quick Summary

Can you imagine what life would look like if you stopped caring about all the things that don't matter, so you had more energy to care about the things that really do? That freedom and joy is at the heart of this interview.

NOTE: Language warning! If you don't like the f word then please skip this video. 

 

Key statements from the interview

Not giving a f*** does not mean being indifferent. It means being comfortable with being different. 

People wish they didn't give a f*** about whatever adversity or struggle that they need to deal with to accomplish their goals and they have a hard time doing that. Not giving a f*** is simply learning how to be comfortable with the adversity. 

It's about focusing and devoting your hearts energy, attention and creativity on the things that genuinely matter to you. 

A huge component of living a healthy life is being good at accepting feeling bad. When you try to deny that, it creates this feedback loop. The whole problem is the judgement, that negative emotions are bad. 

The key to living a good life isn't getting rid of struggle, it's finding good struggles. Struggles that invigorate you, struggles that feel important to you, struggles that can contribute to the people around you because that's where meaning comes from and ultimate meaning is what we all need. 

If people feel stuck, generally it's because they don't feel they have the power to solve the problem. The truth is you always have the power to react to whatever is going on in your life and create the meaning around whatever is happening in your life. It's about changing perspective and doing something to solve it. What get's people stuck is they just want to eliminate the problems. 

What actually produces success is our ability to enjoy the struggle involved in it. 

Certainty is the enemy of growth

 A man who thinks he knows everything knows nothing. If you think you know everything about your life you're going to be less motivated to try something different and have different perspectives. 

You can't be an important and life-changing presence for some people without also being a joke and an embarrassment to others. 

Doing anything boldly is polarising. You will cause a very positive reaction with some people and a very negative reaction with others. I.e. haters are going to hate!

You can't do anything great and not be criticised by someone. To accept that can be incredibly helpful in life.  

What have you personally learned to not give a f***?

Being so visible, you have to be a little sceptical about anything that is said about you. If you listen too much to the good stuff, it starts going to your head. I've also learned about what matters most. 

Tips to not giving so many f***'s

If you give too many f***'s and you want to reduce that start with 'why?' Look at the motivation behind the things you are doing in your life. If you're really honest with yourself, a lot of things are motivated by insecurity, ego, friends did it, competition... That will show a lot to you. 

The starting point is simple, start asking WHY about everything.

Start asking 'What if my assumption is wrong? What if making $100k a year doesn't really matter? What would that mean for my life?

These questions are very hard and few people ask them regularly. 


If you're inspired, use the notes functionality to answer these questions

What's one thing you should give more of a f*** about?

What should you give zero f***'s about?

Interview by Mario Forleo

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